I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
