so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I came so hard my ears popped.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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