she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
