I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
