Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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