Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
they need to just BURY HIM!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
