Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
