What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
