He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
