So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
