remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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