Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
