the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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