You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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