i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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