he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
