dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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