Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
high people should be assigned attendants
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He felt like a one man threesome
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
