Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
