I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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