i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
