Quick, to the slutcave!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
