Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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