she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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