I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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