where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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