I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
