some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
