He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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