fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
In America we eat man semen.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
