My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dicks are not precious.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
