I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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