Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
