I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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