Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
