Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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