White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
