She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My ass is underappreciated
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
