bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
