you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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