that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm passing your future prison.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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