you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
