No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Randomize