It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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