I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
