Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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