Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
