you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I had to cum in my sink.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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