I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
