Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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