kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
