We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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