Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
