he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish you could order shots online.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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