Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
