I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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