I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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