so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
