D3 body, D1 cock
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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