dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
