so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
