U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
