She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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